Aaron Rogge. (backseat_jesus) wrote,
Aaron Rogge.
backseat_jesus

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gut buster

i just saw a commercial for pizza hut (trademark). they are hawking a new PANORMOUS pizza (i do love my portmanteaus) and in the commercial a ludicrously smiling young man remarks 'we are never going to finish this.'

i didn't see the commercial, i heard the guy say it and then DVR-ed back to watch it again. it was the little drop in his voice at the end that made me think 'this guy realizes how absurd his line is.' 'we are never going to finish this.' in other words, our consumption has grown to such a revolting degree that we are pleased with seeing something that defies our best efforts to devour it. this pizza is so palatial that a group of stoners with a sack of expensive weed are going to fall asleep before this pie can get cached. better yet, it doesn't bother them in the least to have to throw away the last slice or two of this behemoth, because after indulging in that greasefest, you won't want another pizza for weeks, let alone microwaved slices of its corpse for tomorrow's lunch. it's PANORMOUS!

how much does one of these gargantuan testaments to gluttony cost? ten dollars. that in itself is a little upsetting. what corners are they cutting to get a pizza that could feed the entire cast of the biggest loser under ten bucks? in today's cost cutting times, i guess it makes sense. at least it's better than last year's 'seventy nine, eight nine, ninety nine, AY AY AY!' campaign by taco bell.
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